But, since they weren't around most of the time, MY "extended family" was/is a circle of close friends who became integral parts of my life at diferent points. The circle has expanded and changed through the years, but each member has guided me and been there for me through good & bad (some have even taken me into their homes when I needed it). The first person to become part of this family, Bob, has known me since before I was born. He has long since earned the title of secondary father (or Anti-Dad), and his wife (Susan), daughter (Liliana) and nephew (Chris) have become part of my family as well. I also owe a lot to the members of Clifton Presbyterian Church & the Community of Hospitality - two small religious groups that played a big part of the community I grew up in, and where I developed my faith. They taught me that I am lucky to have food, shelter & good health - and that there will always be somebody (and Somebody) out there who loves me. Clifton also gave me a sense of continuity through my parents' divorce, and is where I met the four people I consider to have been my godparents at different times: Nancy-Kate (my first Sunday school teacher; she planted the seeds of my faith), Lucy R. (she watered them with her living - and dying - example), Gerry (who met Lucy R. there too, and ended up marrying her), and Lucy T. (who shone a light for me in the darkness).
Though I still remember the names of many of my classmates from first grade on, elementary school wasn't exactly a plethora of friendship for me (in fact, I was a social outcast). Sixth grade was a turning point - I stopped caring what anyone who didn't like me thought & decided I wasn't going to change myself in order to make friends (if you're going to like me, you'll like me for who I really am). That's when I made my first two best friends - Daedra & Laurel. We spent as much time as possible together that first year of middle school, and had a lot of fun. In seventh grade, Laurel moved to Baltimore...but I also made two more best friends, Chris & Heather. Some people say middle school is hell; for me, it was the best three years of my schooling. While I made several other friends in 12th grade (Ruth & Rebecca) and college (Marianne & Shelley), my middle school friendships were the strongest ones (although Heather is the only one I am still in touch with).
In fall 1995, a whole new world opened up for me when I discovered the internet. Between Sept. 1995 and Oct. 1996, I learned both the benefits and the drawbacks of the WWW. The quick connections I forged with others thrilled me; I made more friends in my first six months online than I had in the two YEARS before that. I even made several trips that year to meet some of my closest internet pals - Sean, Julie, and Dave, Lora, and their kids. I also met Brian, who deserves special mention because he became my first boyfriend, and though we broke up over ten years ago, we remain very good friends; this has grown to include our respective spouses, as well (the four of us have had a lot of fun times together)...and now my daughter, too - my husband and I chose Brian as her godfather. However, I also became addicted to the internet - I spent basically ALL of my free time (definitely more than I should have) online, and my other friendships (and every other facet of my life) suffered. I have since gotten over that addiction, and learned to use the 'net in moderation...mostly to keep in touch with friends via email or for news purposes. Sadly, most of the friends I made over the 'net have since drifted off...but the few that remain in touch are real gems.
The years since I moved to Asheville have brought me an overflowing cornucopia of new friends: former housemate Martha (who is still one of my best friends), and coworkers Lizie, Brooke, Cheryl, Dara and Mark (and Mark's wife Jodi). Of course, this biography of sorts, like my life, would no longer be complete without including my husband, Arlie, and daughter, Dawn. Just being around them makes my world seem brighter. Marriage has brought me lots of new relatives and friends as well, including his dad (also named Arlie) and stepmom (Murna); his sister (Dianna), her husband (Johan) and their daughters (Ella and Amelia); his best friend, Varqa, and his family, and quite a few others!
 Click on the pic above to read more about my "angels" - the loved ones I have lost. |